loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
