I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
