I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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