I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
