Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
