Whod you bang
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ttyl tear gas
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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