White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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