you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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