at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
