Michael Bay diarrhea
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
