This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize