All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
