I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
