i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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