i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
