yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
