The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
