I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize