Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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