maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
