I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
