Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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