I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
