ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize