And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
