Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
