And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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