3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
try to milk me bitch
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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