My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
