Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
