i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
