well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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