He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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