Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
