I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Randomize
