I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
