Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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