Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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