Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
