And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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