Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize