Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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