Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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