i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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