Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
