He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This is my gift to your gina
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
