He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
