M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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