i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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