i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im holly from the hills drunk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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