We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
