I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
A bitchslap is in order.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
