508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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