Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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