She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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