There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
