they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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