Yo dont text me then not text me
accomplished twins. life is a go
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
