we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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