You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
