so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
