hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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