am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
