Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
