I wannas sexs uuuuu
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
