Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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