I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
