Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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