The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize