guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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