and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
